Hillary’s Last Stand
This just in: Hillary Clinton continues to stand fast amidst the din of defeat and the annoying buzz of eventual humiliation. During a campaign stop in San Antonio the New York Senator took a moment to remember what happened the last time someone made their last stand in Texas: they were brutally slaughtered down to the last man. “So we can’t do any worse!” said Ms. Clinton with her trademark strained humor covering her equally trademark desperation.
“Davey Crocket is one of my heroes!” exclaimed Senator Clinton, demonstrating how the wild west hero wielded his favorite rifle “old betsy” like a club. After savagely beating several campaign staffers and innocent bystanders she was restrained by police. Just kidding. But no, really. It was scary.
In other news, Ron Paul is still crazy, John McCain is still old, Barack Obama is still the greatest thing since Ghandi and Mike Huckabee is still Mike Huckabee. Unless he’s an alien. But then he would still be called Mike Huckabee, he would just be from outer space. Keep it sexy America! Incoherently,